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Subject:to everyone:
Time:12:01 am
Thanks for all the love and support.

Tonight, I dont think I will be coming back from where I am going.
where I am going I cannot say
but it goes without say
as they say:

as the world is big
it is also round
therefore we are bound
to meet again some how.

For everyone who cared so much about me
when I needed someone to lean on, someone to care.
anyone at anytime was always there
good night all. live well.


this will be my last post here.
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Subject:Hiatus
Time:02:45 pm
This may be my last entry for a while.

I've developed something really bad and wont be here for a while.

Those of you who know me, and are concerned, know where I can be found.



Goodbye.
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Current Music:You're A Wolf - Sea Wolf
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Subject:Solo hike San Bernardino Mountain Trail
Time:09:33 pm
Current Mood:relievedrelieved
So today I decided to venture out on a trail I had discovered at random a few days ago, seeing as it was not too hot out. Though I would have liked the lighting to be a little better for photography, I was slightly weary going into a new trail alone I let the adventurous side of me take over and I was not disappointed~~ (aside from the fucking trash people dumped, fuckers). All in all the hike was exceptionally fun tons of sights and sounds to be taken in. I saw a lot of plants in bloom, though I am not a major in botany I know a few (and I mean FEW) plants. The hike was pretty much a breeze, there were a few instances that I would have liked another person to come so I could stray from the path a bit to explore a bit more. There was a creek I was rather very interested in investigating. Maybe next time.


forgive some of my photos for having that strange green dotted line in them IDK why my phone does that... orz orz orz ruins such awesome photos... /cries




Photobucket
panoramic view at the begining of the trail

Photoheavy behind cutto, so sorry ToTCollapse )
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Subject:however on a much lighter note.
Time:01:09 am




this is for danielle and lizards everywhere.
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Subject:touch my scars.
Time:10:47 pm
I opened all my entries (aside from lyrics) to public.

I have nothing left to hide.

I wear these scar with pride.

I was never anyones friend by hiding.

Truth.

Myself.

My emotions.

That is me.

Always has.

Always will be.

Love me.

Hate me.



I am not yours to judge.
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Subject:FUCK YEAH
Time:03:20 am
CAUSE IM AWESOME

ALSO HAPPY MOMS DAY


FUCK YEAH! SPEND IT WITH HER IF YOU CAN CAUSE SHES THEONLYONES YOU GOTS FAGGOTS!

I CANT SPEND TIME WITH MINE, CAUSE I CAME HOME EARLY... CAUSE IM A FUCKING ASSHOLE SON. YAY ME LOLOL


ILU MOM!!!
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Current Music:this song, over and over and over.
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Subject:I find it hard to believe...
Time:12:36 am
Current Mood:calmat ease
but this is the end.
Im sure at some time you cared.
Just as at some time I would have chased after you.

so this is goodbye...







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Subject:Some food for thought.
Time:11:39 am
Current Mood:indescribableindescribable
So, for quite some time I have been trying to come to terms and make amends with everything that has gone askew in my life. I been told I beat myself up too much, Ive been told that I am paranoid, Ive been told Im not the only one going through problems, I've been told some things cannot be helped, hell, Ive been told its all my fault.


I will not hide. I will not run. This is me. This is my life. This is your decision to read on.Collapse )




.f u c k y e a h.
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Subject:lesson learned.
Time:01:10 am
All this time I used the word 'fix' as a means of trying to repair things, ties, relationships.

I was wrong. Today I realized I cannot 'fix' anything that is put together emotionally.
You can only resolve. and build. In friendships one does not simply 'fix' bonds and ties. if there is strain on them they will break the thing is to resolve the issues that have strained or have severed your relationship. once resolve is placed as a foundation then understanding and growth from the experience are what build a newer stronger relationship.

all this time i was trying to fix things instead of just resolving them and then moving on to understand and grow.

On the same token though. one cannot simply build alone. thus the friendship will only lead into one-sidedness and will falter under its own weight. both sides have to agree that the best course of action is to understand and build together, but only after they have met and resolved all the strain that is there.

An open mind and an open heart are really what are key to understanding. Excuses make no substitution for just outright admittance to fault. When one can take the full blame for their actions then the issue can be fully resoved.
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Subject:Today may have been a very bad day...
Time:10:12 pm
I misunderstood and annoyed friends.

I didn't get any sleep.

I almost died (seriously).

Something flew into my eye and scratched the outer layer.

I tried explaining myself to people only to further drive a wedge. So now everyone thinks I'm an asshole.

Then I had my first panic attack.

I can feel a huge ulcer churning inside my guts.

My tooth is killing me.

I constantly being insulted today. (seriously its unprovoked)

...and its not even midnight yet...



I know it will get better, I'm trying everything I can in my powers to do so.
Im feeling better already. Honestly.
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[icon] Vagrant Ronin...
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